BOLD JOURNEY Meet Valerie Bernhard
https://boldjourney.com/news/meet-valerie-bernhard/
We were lucky to catch up with Valerie Bernhard recently and have shared our conversation below.
Valerie, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?
How did you find your purpose? + My journey to wellness continued.
“The Big Picture is just too much, too big to look at. Look at today.” -My Mom
I tried to dodge a difficult question for this interview, thought I would keep it real light and as I did so I battled telling a huge part of what makes me myself— the amazing mother, wife, friend, business lady that I am. It is a big part of my story, our story.
My son is now able to read and I have yet to tell him of the fight of our lives, I never ever want him to feel guilt or fear about it. As I previously shared with VoyageTampa readers, I suffered complications during and after childbirth that kept me in the hospital for two weeks after my son was born. Away from my new baby, Arthur Guy. I was so close to death that I asked my sister to be there in the event that I didn’t make it through surgery. But I did survive it all and it was the greatest perspective on life that I have ever experienced. You can’t unsee that.
Throughout the hospital stay my husband and I vowed to simplify our lives and never take it all for granted. I healed physically, we tackled the typical new parent duties with a tiny bit of grace and laughter. We moved to sunny paradise and began creating a truly great life for us. The sun and sand provided a calm and we were so content, enjoying this life together watching this amazing little human grow. Arthur Guy was and is the coolest, funniest, most beautiful being in all the world. Karl and I had found each other and created my purpose— to love, support and nurture our family and the family that supported us along our journey. I was a graphic designer and I could work from home and make up for that lost time. I wanted to be as present in our lives as I possibly could. Mindfulness was a challenge for me because I find pleasure in keeping busy. Designing and printing messages of mindfulness became my passion, surrounding myself with gentle reminders to look at this life, breathe it in and enjoy it to the fullest. Art Guy the business was born and we were on the upstroke, I wanted more than anything to simply be happy and okay because I almost completely missed out on this life. With these amazing people! I CHEATED DEATH and every day is a blessing! I felt weak in admitting that I was less than ecstatic every single day. There were feelings of pressure, fear, anger. I knew that motherhood would be hard but I also realized that maybe our journey was a little harder than the average. Overall, I knew that I was not all that I could be and maybe that was worth exploring.
I began seeing a psychiatrist. It turns out that I was not okay for a long time. I remember how it was when I first started our visits— I cried so hard that I couldn’t speak. I had never re-told my story in such detail and I remember feeling so sorry for that person that endured it all, the dialysis, collapsed lung, surgeries, ventilator, my swollen body, unable to walk, unable to see and hold my tiny baby who needed his mom brought the most tears. But I found the words to describe it all it and I was again doing what I needed to do to heal and get home to my husband and son.
I had really never referred to post traumatic stress disorder other than the stories of heroic soldiers until that one visit when my doctor explained it to me. It all made a little more sense and I allowed myself a LOT more room to heal. Over time it got easier and easier to share it allllll.
My therapy continues but these days it’s not as heavy; we talk about the fact that I am still a great mother even if I do allow Arthur to eat a peanut butter sandwich each and every single day of kindergarten through second grade. It feels great to have my “maintenance” time. We talk about this business venture, we talk about vacations and married life, school, future plans, and we talk about orchids. I love orchids and the fact that he can get them to bloom repeatedly like fireworks in his office is amazing to me. He has a theory that they bloom because of the stories told and the love shared there. It truly IS worth exploring.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
Art Guy is a retail and design business. I sell textiles with messages of mindfulness through my website and I also sell them wholesale to a few great stores, one of which donates a percentage to great causes, Goods That Matter in New Orleans. For the graphic design branch of Art Guy I have a core group of clients and the most substantial amount of work is for one of the longest standing music clubs on Frenchmen Street in New Orleans. I handle the marketing, design, website, social media, and ticketing which is a lot of work but I really enjoy it. This is such a great fit for me because I truly love the music and the artists are incredible both on and off the stage. The staff is outstanding and just really great people to work with. I get to go to really awesome shows there on occasion and I have always loved live music and traveling to be in the audience. I love being a part of that world.
THE CHALLENGES + WHAT’S NEXT
I created this business with a very contingent, idealistic model—how do you create a mindful business as a sole proprietor? Talk about pressure. How do I create revenue and focus on mindfulness as a I run this business? I am a designer and I will continue to design ways to incorporate those moments in the day that bring me the calm to be present. Cooking, gardening, sewing, those activities provide a quiet in my mind that is brought on by me knowing that I am providing for my family. I allow those moments to be the driving force of Art Guy creations. I’ve learned to screen print and sew to serve as a carrier of our messages that also serve as a mindful exercise to get my hands in. Photography also plays an important role in it all and I find it so fun.
Up next on the retail side we are replenishing our inventory and adding new items. The kimonos and towels have been doing well and the kids ponchos are a hit. More of those with new messages will be in store. As for the contracted design work I will continue to promote my clients and the music to the best of my ability, learning all the while.
We are now firmly planted in Sarasota, Karl has become a partner in his architecture firm, Arthur absolutely loves his school and I am looking forward to continue working from home but also co-working in a sweet, hip space downtown. It feels great to call Sarasota home, the city is growing and along with the new faces come new restaurants, art shows, parks, kids’ activities, and an incredible new bike trail that allows us to bike, scoot or skate to downtown. I had never even visited Sarasota until arriving here in our U-Haul and it has been everything and more for our thriving little family, the paradise and presence we were seeking.
The beauty of Art Guy is that it is ever-evolving. As we grow as a family, as our parenting takes new shape, as we travel and see more of the world around us together, the company will adapt and change right along with us. I will discover/develop new ways to design and create as a way to nurture myself and my family and those in our world.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
MY 3 QUALITIES/SKILLS:
I’M CRAFTY & BUSY.
I love creating things and I love to stay busy. I love to cook, grow orchids & herbs, decorate. I love a good themed dinner party, play date, sleepover. These creative outlets have been therapeutic for me and they provide me with a sense of achievement, completion, wholeness.
And we have fun.
I AM FLEXIBLE, WEAR MANY HATS.
I started as a waitress and learned how to bartend. Then I became a massage therapist and I also got my cosmetology license. I was licensed to do it all— hair, nails, massage, facials. I was a walking spa! When I became a graphic designer I immediately began working for a then-new magazine and built it cover to cover. I worked in a marketing firm before going out on my own which taught me so much. With all of the roles that I now have with the music club I am now learning so much about music and club promotion. I never stop learning and I pride myself on being versatile.
ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS
Organization brings me satisfaction. The less hectic your workspace and files the better.
Spreadsheets have become my best tool to make sure that all tasks are accounted for.
My advice to those early in the journey:
DEVELOP TASKS + BREATHE
All jobs can be made easier and more efficiently completed by breaking them down into tasks.
Completion of a task is a great time to take a break, big or small. Revel in it, a lot or a little. Hydrate. Breathe.
This helps so much to not look at that big picture, just focus on the tasks that you can complete today while creating a challenge while also being considerate of yourself and your time.
As it relates to starting a business:
You can create this for you and yours. Make your skills relative in that you can contribute to those around you if you can. You know your core group, the people that you gravitate to and surround yourself with. This is your community but they are also your customers & clients that may not share your every view so BE KIND and CONSIDERATE in every reflection of your business.
As it relates to graphic design:
Being a professional artist has a very distinct challenge in that you will be very pressed at times, forced to be creative under deadline and your brain is just absolutely exhausted.
Take a step back, walk away for a minute and come back to it. Go find a little something that brings you to a happy space and then take another look. Finding that fresh perspective may just be what we can all use to keep doing what we’re doing.
As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?
My mom recently sent me a book called Ikigai, The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life. Your ikigai is the reason you get up in the morning. “Having a clearly defined Ikigai brings satisfaction, happiness and meaning to our lives.” Did you know that there is no Japanese word that means to retire as in leave the work force? Many Japanese people never retire, they just keep doing what they love for as long as their health allows. “Certain longevity studies suggest that a strong sense of community and a clearly defined Ikigai are just as important as the famously healthful Japanese diet—perhaps even more so.”
Find what it is that you love to do, what you are good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for, your Ikigai being at the center.
Keep at it and keep moving!
